So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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