Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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