ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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