I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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