Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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