they need to just BURY HIM!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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