Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
