gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't deserve a penis
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
