have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
