Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
