I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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