Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
