I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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