we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize