Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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