I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
