He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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