There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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