Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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