Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we're so committed to being not committed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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