My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
even my farts smell like vagina
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
