I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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