did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
