I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize