I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
