I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
