what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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