So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
