Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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