we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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