I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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