During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
