Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
