our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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