Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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