today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
