I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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