me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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