last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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