I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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