I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How external is "for external use only"?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
