Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
