Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
