Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
