sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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