i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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