I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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