my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
