so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
