Porn is love you can see.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just pee around me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize