I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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