How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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