party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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