wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
