I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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