why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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