now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
