I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
