So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my shit smells like andre
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
