Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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