im about as happy as oj after his trial
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
