Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
