Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
