I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
