it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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