So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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