after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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